Life has been giving me lots of lessons at the moment. I’m stressed, confused at times and once again in a precarious living situation where someone is triggering me around abuse. Using their power relationship to make demands on me and not respecting me when I say no. I was triggered badly into panic for… Continue reading My Lessons
My old counselor had brought this up a few times before. I didn’t think it applied to me…. But I’ve been reflecting on how I hold in anger and other feelings, I carry the burden of being upset in case it affects others. I did this as a child, not telling people about the abuse.… Continue reading People Pleasing?
So I’m at a bit of a crisis point again, feeling really triggered and emotional. Waking up in tears, feeling like I can’t cope. My boyfriend is being supportive, and I have close friends that live far away. Even my boyfriend is over an hour and half away from me. I’ve been turning to him a… Continue reading Who to share with?
Woke up today after a nightmare. It was my Mum and my partner in my dream. My Mum is really inappropriate with men (and my partners). I’ve never called her on it as I would be made out to be a liar or crazy. I know this as every time I try to express my… Continue reading An insight into more confusion!
So, I’ve realised I’m not really getting some of my needs met in my relationship. He’s a great guy and very loving and caring. He’s wants to be able to be there for me. The problem is because of the abuse in a relationship of “love” I’ve learned to put my feelings last. So if… Continue reading Confused and Fuzzy
So, about the not trusting what I believe. I’ve just posted about how I think my partner is great… but do I?! When it comes to emotions and what I think I find trusting my own opinion so incredibly difficult. As a person I constantly to and fro, working out what I think (or not… Continue reading Is it me, or them?
So, I’m sure that I have many other things to write about…. but oh shit, this seems important again. So I’ve mentioned this great guy who I’m with that is making an effort to understand what I’m going through and try to be supportive. Well right now I’m angry at him for not understanding me… Continue reading Oh shit, relationships again.